Peekaboo

This blog is written by Mrinalini Ponappa Banerjea, a certified parent educator and mother of  two young adults.

Sometime back, I saw something that has stayed with me. A young parent is taking her infant out for a walk in the pram. The infant was fresh and alert from her nap, looking up at her mother and pushing her. The mother was looking down at the phone, which was attached to the handle of the pram. I could see the infant kicking her feet and moving her hands and watching her mother with excitement, and the mother's face had a stoic look that we all have when we are scrolling on our phones. This observation offers a glimpse into the moments shared between parent and infant. And then I saw many such slivers all around me, and let me admit that I caught myself in this space too! And this moment in time of our lives is what I want to expand upon.

As Babies grow, with EACH AND EVERY interaction with us, their brains develop, and they learn to engage with every response of ours. A significant amount of scientific research has been conducted on this topic. In this action, the “mirror neurons, are a type of sensory-motor cell located in the brain that is activated when an individual performs an action or observes another individual performing the same action. Thus, the neurons “mirror” others’ actions.” So, what happens to the happy baby when she finds the parent is more interested in the phone than in engaging with her? For a nonverbal infant, eye contact, the parent's facial expressions, gentle touches, and a narrative of the world passing by in the pram are of immense significance, which is essentially how we continue to communicate as years roll by effectively. So, what does it feel like for the infant in her wakeful times to try to get her mother’s attention? How can we expect the growing infant to find wonder in the world without us staying by their side and talking about the wonders?

We, as parents, are architects of our children's world. Children learn what they live and live what they know. We are teaching them (very young) deep engrossment in gadgets. In doctors' waiting rooms, on journeys, and during evenings at home, there are many missed opportunities for connection with growing children. Those quiet moments are big! In the simple act of sharing their wonder in the world around them, we encourage them to appreciate the gift of “awe.” We share with them the wonder of rainbow colours in a bubble, the trail of an ant on sand, the rising sun, and so much more! As children grow, they seek us out in different ways.

Raising our children will remain one of the most crucial tasks in our lives. We will never know how deep these interactions with our child go, simply because they felt “seen”. The game we play with babies, “peekaboo, I see you,” has only got babies gurgling with delight. And that is such a wonder in itself, isn’t it? For both the baby and me.